I don’t link to Siskoid’s Blog of Awesomeness – I mean, Geekery – enough, so let me take a step towards correcting that. After all, a post about Captain Kirk fighting a bunch of space pirates is pretty much tailor-made for me.
Siskoid recently finished up the daunting task of reviewing every single Star Trek TV episode and movie ever made and is following it with reviews of the comics and books, including that Voodoo one I posted about last Spring. It’s Must Read Internet.
New Sinbad movie
In other pirate news, looks like there’s a new Sinbad movie in the works. According to SCIFI Wire, “The story centers on Sinbad and his crew, who are marooned off the coast of China and embark on a quest to find the lamp of Aladdin.”
The image to the left there is Sinbad, but otherwise has nothing to do with the movie. It’s from Pierre Alary’s upcoming graphic novel that I’m very impatient about.
I know, I know. I’m starting off with a cheat. But the only reason that Dodgeball is this low on the list is that it isn’t really about pirates. It’s just about one, awesome pirate named Steve played by Wash from Firefly. That’s good enough to bump it above most “real” pirate flicks. Garrr!
I’ve got no objectivity when it comes to Peter Ustinov’s Blackbeard trying to help Dean Jones and a bunch of old ladies save an ancient, pirate-themed inn from being destroyed by crooked landlords. This was one of my favorite childhood movies, but it does hold up fairly well. There’s lots of goofy slapstick and Ustinov is thoroughly charming. And Disney doesn’t spare any expense on the awesome, old, pirate inn.
Dude, it’s Abbott and Costello. That’s all you really need to know. And Charles Laughton is surprisingly hilarious reprising his role from the much less fun Captain Kidd. Anyone who can hold his own against Lou Costello deserves some recognition. It’s too bad it’s not available on DVD.
If I really had to pick between the two I’d choose Disney’s version because it’s awesome and it defines Peter Pan for so many people. But man, you can’t ignore Jason Isaacs as Captain Hook. You just can’t.
I don’t care what everyone says about this being the movie that killed traditional animation at Disney for a while. It wasn’t because Treasure Planet was bad, it was because Disney had been releasing too much stuff and folks were just getting tired of it. Treasure Planet is actually an awesome, well-designed, faithful adaptation of Treasure Island. Or as faithful as it can be and still be set in outer space. It got a raw deal is all I’m saying.
This might be another cheat, but the Singh Brotherhood are undeniably pirates – and very piratey pirates at that – so I’m counting it (even if it is impossible to find pictures of the pirates online). This is another movie that gets a bum rap by people who have no souls. It’s better than every Indiana Jones movie except Raiders of the Lost Ark. I seriously don’t get the negative reputation.
At last one we can all agree on. Cary Elwes held onto the title of World’s Coolest Pirate for a nice, long time and there’s no dishonor in having it taken away by Johnny Freakin Depp.
Of course, Errol Flynn defined “pirate” for everyone who came before Newton. Newton may be more influential over the popular perception of pirates, but Flynn’s a lot more fun (and that’s saying something, because Newton is fun). Plus, Flynn gets to smooch Olivia de Haviland.
They took everything I ever loved about pirates and sea adventures and rolled it all into three awesome films. Sure, it would’ve been cool if they’d added another hour to At World’s End and shown some other stuff I wanted to see, but they more than made up for it, all things considered.
Artist James Gurney talks about how he created the new cover to Tim Powers’ 1987 pirate novel On Stranger Tides. Publishers Weekly describes the book as a dark fantasy about a puppeteer who’s forced to join a pirate crew and eventually encounters Blackbeard, voodoo, and the Fountain of Youth.
You still have about a week to get to Newport, Kentucky (right across the river from Cincinnati, Ohio) for the Newport Aquarium’s Ghosts of Pirate Cove event. I have but three words for you: Underwater Sword Fighting.
It’s been a while since we’ve talked about pirates and we’ve had an International Talk Like a Pirate Day since, so lots of pirate stuff to link to. Which means that I’ll be doing this again tomorrow. Arr.
Pirate Movies
One of the nice things about Talk Like a Pirate Day is that people also like to talk about pirates. And make pirate lists. Like this one of the Top 10 Pirate Movies of All Time. I’m going to disagree with his (admittedly half-hearted) inclusion of Hook, but he certainly got Number One right. No Treasure Island, though? That’s just wrong. I’m gonna have to make my own list.
Pirates of the Caribbean 4
I know everyone knows about this already, but I can’t very well not mention it, no matter how late I’m getting to it. Johnny Depp has signed up for another Pirates of the Caribbean movie. And I’m hearing rumors that they’ve got Geoffrey Rush as well.
It’s strange, but shortly before this news, I was reading about how Keira Knightley isn’t interested in any more Pirates films. I thought that was kind of a stupid story at the time. Sort of like asking Carrie Fisher if she’s up for another Star Wars film. What’s she going to say? “Oh, yes, I’d love to be in this hypothetical movie that’ll likely never get made.”
Now, the Keira story doesn’t seem as stupid anymore. Which makes me sad, because as cool as Jack is, Elizabeth was my favorite part of those films.
Blackbeard movie
Pirates 4 isn’t the only new pirate flick planned. One of the guys behind Men in Black is planning a biography of Edward Teach’s life.
Seriously, I’ve been wanting to visit Ocracoke on vacation for a few years now and this post points out some other cool Eastern Seaboard pirate locales to add to the tour. I’ve been to Williamsburg (where Blackbeard’s crew was tried and executed), but I can’t believe I grew up in Florida and never once visited Saint Augustine.
The joke that never gets old
See also: “What movies do pirates like best?” (Ones that are rated “Arrrr.”) and “What’s a pirate’s favorite restaraunt?” (Arrrrbies.) Gimme your best ones in the comments.
My pal Dan Taylor has a trailer for his Pirat Tales comic from IDW. Wanna see?
If you’d like to pre-order it, the Diamond Order Code is SEP084132.
Piratz Tavern
I hate the “z” in the name, but if I’m ever in Silver Spring, Maryland, I’m going to the Piratz Tavern. It looks like a fun place and has a good-looking menu.
Treasure Island
But this… this I can see making a special trip to Vegas for.
George Harrison would’ve liked to have been a pirate
It gets going around the 20 second mark.
Ms. Marvel Special: Storyteller
As I told Grant when he emailed me about it, all the buckles and crap on her pirate costume almost make me not want it, but then I look at the Thing, Hulk, and Punisher and all is forgiven.
Captain Kirk and the Flight of the Buccaneer
New Sinbad movie
